Smog 3.1: Raina

You’re an ice villain!,” Carter shouted with glee. “Oh my god. I can’t believe I’m actually going to get to fight an ice villain.”

As he said that, the jewel thief in a white ice cream man uniform used his power to raise himself into the air with an ice ramp.

Over the last few weeks, Carter had been telling me all about the history of superheroes and super villains. Most of it was as boring as a video game but I’d still picked it all up. Apparently, in the 70’s and 80’s, there had been ice villains everywhere. No one was quite sure why such a large influx of them popped up but when he’d been telling me all this, Carter had seemed super excited about the prospect of ever getting to fight one.

Just be careful, Bee. We don’t want a repeat of what happened against Soup.”

That was not my fault, Queen. How was I supposed to know his broth was scalding?”

I sighed. “Just try to remember he’s not making snow cones, okay?” I stared at the villain and spoke loud enough that he could hear me. “So who are you anyway?”

I really hope you’re not expecting some dumb villain name. Not everyone is as dumb as you two.”

I didn’t disagree with him. I’d only gone with “Queen” because I didn’t want to end up with some lame name like “Warper.”

If you think villain names are stupid, what’s up with the ice cream man costume?” I asked.


Don’t be so mean, Queen. He probably just couldn’t figure out a name since every conceivable ice themed name has already been taken.”

We both chuckled.

Okay, you two can go straight to Hell,” said the villain from above as he fired two freeze rays at us.

That’s what I figured they were at least. Before we’d gotten here, he’d managed to encase a man up to his neck in ice. I’d actually found it pretty funny.

Carter and I ran in opposite directions, evading the blasts. Having been scared at least a little by the ice villain’s attack, Carter aimed his hands and fired electrical blasts.

The ice villain jumped off of his ramp, dodging Lightning Bee’s attack and made a new one, circling around us.

Hey, Queen. Wanna see something I’ve been working on?”

I shrugged. “Whatever you want, Snipey.”

Taking that as a yes,” he said, excited. Carter quickly surveyed the area. Turning his attention to a trash can, he fired electrical blasts at a metal lid. He spun around and used his lightning to launch the trash can lid at the ice villain.

He missed.

You’ll get him next time,” I said.

Carter nodded.

He wasn’t ever going to hit anyone with that move. He wasn’t even close.

A large icicle materialized in the ice villain’s hand. He made more of his ramp, sliding down towards Carter. He actually saw him as the bigger threat. This guy and his ten dollar haircut were going to learn not to ignore me.

Before he could skewer Carter, I teleported his weapon away from him and performed a jump kick aimed at his face.

He fell to the ground, all of his ice ramps suddenly melting.

Carter stood right over the villain. “That’s what happens when you take on Lightning Bee and Queen. I hope you’ve learned your lesson.”

The ice villain responded by freezing Lightning Bee up to his neck.

God damn it Carter.

The villain got up and started running.

Queen, go after him.”

I straightened my tie, began pursuing him and shouted “No shit, Bee.”

It didn’t take any time at all for me to catch up to him. As a last ditch effort to stop me, he fired two freeze rays at close to point blank range. I’d teleported moving bullets before, so it wasn’t too difficult for me to make it so the rays hit a mailbox instead of me.

I got in front of the villain and delivered a series of fast kicks to him until he was unconscious. As a result, the ice on Carter and the mailbox melted.

Lightning Bee walked over to me.

Nice work, Queen,” he said hesitantly, noticing the heavy damage I’d done to the ice villain’s face. “I know we went over this after the fight with Soup, but you’ve got to try and be less brutal.”

Why?,” I smiled wickedly. “That’s half the fun.”


Ms. Raina, are you sure you want to go in there?,” Olivia asked. “It doesn’t appear to be the most savory of establishments.”

I stepped out of my limo and saw the restaurant that Carter had selected, Mighty Mike’s Mexican Metropolis. It was as dingy a hole in the wall place as I’d ever seen. Even from the outside, it reeked of week old tacos and people who hadn’t showered in days.

I nodded and said, “Carter, you will pay for this.”

Olivia held the door open for me and I saw that MMMM was maybe 20 feet long, from the door to the back of the restaurant. I could see the kitchen in which all of the sinks and tools looked old and gross. I couldn’t believe a place like this existed in Bluejay outside of the Negative District.

Hey, Raina,” Carter said, sitting at one of the three tables.

Before Olivia and I sat down across from him, I had her check the chairs to make sure there was nothing disgusting on them. She found more than one dead bug.

Hi, Olivia,” Carter awkwardly said.

Hi,” she responded.

Carter shook around in his chair. He was far from the only person who was uncomfortable around Olivia. Lindsey and Ally were cool with her but none of my other friends were and even then, I was the only person with whom she would really talk.

Are you just nervous because Olivia beat the shit out of you?,” I asked him. “Come on, I did that three times and we managed to become friends.”

Who’s nervous? I’m not nervous. I’ve got no beef with Olivia.”

Olivia shook her head.

No idea what that meant.

Alright, good. We’re all friends here,” I said smiling. “So,” I said with great emphasis. “What the hell are we doing here?”

Well, since we’ve been hanging out a lot and since we’re also partners, my sister Shay asked if she could meet you and I said yes.”

And why pray tell are we here and not in your apartment, or better yet, my place?”

Our apartment is still pretty trashed.” He glanced nervously at Olivia. “And don’t worry, it wasn’t all your fault. That guy Malcolm did a pretty good job wrecking the place before you showed up.”

Olivia simply responded, “I wasn’t worried.”

Carter had mentioned to me more than once that he could see when I was lying, even if I didn’t know it myself. I didn’t have the same innate ability as he did, but I was pretty sure he was hiding something here.

What aren’t you telling me?” I asked.

Me? I’m not hiding anything,” he said, clearly hiding something.

Olivia stood up, cracking her fingers.

Okay. Maybe there is something I didn’t tell you.”

Thank you, Olivia,” I said as she sat back down.

So the thing is…” he paused and then whispered, “Shay still thinks you’re a super villain and she doesn’t actually know that you’re the one I’ve been hanging out with, since I never told her my ‘new friend’s’ name.”

Excuse me,” I exclaimed, caught off guard. “Why would she think that? I’m a superhero now, just like you. Unless…” I paused. “You haven’t told her that we’re working together yet.” His face said yes. “Unbelievable. I understood you wanting to hide my presence from the media, but you could have at least told Shay so she wouldn’t still hate me and want me in cuffs. Besides, what does any of that have to do with coming to this rat hole?”

She really loves this place so I thought she’d be more likely to understand that you’re a good person if she had a burrito or two in her. Come on, she’s my sister. We tell each other everything and it has been killing me, hiding this from her.”

Really? You tell each other everything? How about the fact that you have to be scared in order to fight?”

That’s different.”

I see.” I turned to my bodyguard. “Olivia, we’re leaving.”

I liked Carter but I was not going to jail just so he could show me off. I mean, I could understand why he wanted to be seen with me. I was amazing after all but I couldn’t understand why he needed to tell his sister my secret identity.

As we were about to leave, two police officers walked in.

Holy Christ, Myers! In what world is gelato the same thing as ice cream? They are completely different.”

Joey, we’re in public. Keep your voice down!”

The male officer was a total fatty. He was as hairy as a monkey and he had the stench to match. On top of that, despite appearing to be in his 20’s, he had totally barf worthy acne.

The female officer, whom I assumed to be Shay, was no better. Her nose was huge and just all around, she had an ugly face. Her muscles were also very apparent. Someone as tall and bulky as Olivia could pull that off but with her height and stature, she could not. And her thighs? Terrible. Simply terrible.

Hey guys,” Carter said from the table.

Carter bro!,” the fat cop exclaimed, walking over to the table and high-fiving Carter.

He sat down and Shay followed suit, the two of them taking the seats in which Olivia and I had been sitting. Shay whispered something to Carter.

I kind of already knew that,” Carter said in response.

Shay glanced at Olivia. She must have recognized her from when I’d had Olivia attack Shay and Carter.

She stood up and walked back over to Olivia and me. I was quite curious as to what she’d say to us.

I don’t know who you are, but you’re under arrest for assault and battery, attempted murder, conspiracy, and trespassing.” I giggled. “What’s so funny, miss?”

You. Olivia here isn’t going anywhere. She’s not a criminal; she’s my bodyguard and chauffeur.”

I don’t forget a face. I also don’t forget people I’ve fought.” She paused. “I also know who you are, but I think I’ve got a better chance at taking down your associate than the richest brat in the world.”

I couldn’t help but be myself in response.

Honey, with a face like yours, you’d have a better chance at becoming a zoo animal than taking me down.”

Okay, I think that’s enough,” Carter said, as he rose from his chair.

The fat cop was just watching all of us now, probably confused out of his mind.

Carter, what’s going on here?,” Shay asked him.

He took a deep breath. “Raina is the friend I’ve been telling you about and she has also been helping me fight against super villains, because, well, she’s a superhero now.”

He had gotten it all out there. His plans really weren’t the best though. If he wanted her to have some of those smelly burritos in her before telling her this, he should have made sure that she arrived before I did.

Before Shay could respond, the fat cop spoke. “Um, what are you guys talking about?”

Surprisingly, it was Olivia who responded.

You’re Joey McKnight, correct? Darling’s nephew?”

That’s me,” he said, overly proud of just being related to someone famous.

The truth is, the four of us all play table top RPG’s together, and we’re talking about our most recent session. We can tell you all about it, but first, I’d really like your autograph.”

I left my notepad in the car. I can go get it!”

Please do,” she said, totally playing him.

The real irony that he wasn’t aware of was just how much Olivia actually hated all of the old heroes.

Joey ran out of the so called restaurant.

Okay, given how slow Joey is and how far away we parked, we’ve got a few minutes before he comes back,” Shay said. “So will you explain to me how you became partners with her? I’m assuming it involves you hitting your head and forgetting all the horrible things she has done.”

You know, I probably should have said this before insulting you, but I’m really sorry about all of that,” I told her.

Sorry doesn’t make up for all the blood on your hands.”

You have great hair,” I lied.

I actually did feel terrible about everything I’d done. I’d gone crazy with the whole being perfect thing, combined with the initial guilt of killing someone and I only hoped that I could one day redeem myself.

Still, there was no way in hell I was going to tell Shay that.

Listen, Sis. It’s not as bad as it sounds. We’re not just working together and hanging out. I have been teaching her all about morals and what it means to be a hero and she has started teaching me the basics of Tae Kwon Doe.”

That doesn’t put her above the law.”

Maybe not, but this city needs her. I still suck at the superhero thing. Raina’s the one who has taken down Soup, Hollow, and as of a few hours ago, an ice villain. Raina’s got the skill. I’m just here to help her.”

Shay was turning out to be a huge stick in the mud. There was no way she was going to accept this.

Okay first, awesome that you guys fought an ice villain.”

I know, right?,” Carter said.

Second, fine. I don’t get how you became friends, and I certainly don’t like your butler over there being a part of this but I’ll go along with it. However, if either of you does anything to hurt Carter or any other innocent person, I will put you in jail. Got it?”

She’d given us a death stare while issuing her threat. It suited her.

Got it. And don’t worry, Olivia doesn’t participate in the superhero stuff at all. Personal reasons.”

So we’re all good?,” Carter asked. “Everybody’s cool with each other?”

Shay and I nodded.

Carter, I don’t think Olivia wants to have to see that other cop again and frankly, I can’t take this stench anymore.”

Shay turned to Olivia. “You don’t like Joey? I can’t believe we actually have something in common.”

Olivia didn’t respond but merely walked over to the door to hold it open for me.

You want a ride home, Carter? I’m kind of curious to see what kind of place you live in.”

He nodded and waved goodbye to Shay as we left. The last thing I heard her say was “I hope you know what you’re doing, bro.”

We got into my limo, and drove off. 

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1 Response to Smog 3.1: Raina

  1. unclepulky says:

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    See you all next week.


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